How to make room for memories + More
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Are memories embedded in objects? It sure seems that way, which is why the deluge of things you inherit when parents pass on feels so overwhelming. How to sort through these meaningful remnants? How to distribute them to new locations in a sensitive way?
The problem is compounded when you live in a small space like I do. Being selective is essential. My brothers and I are only partway through our monumental task, but we're learning fast about how to make practical decisions. Here are five objects that found new spots to settle in my apartment.
A large seashell came to rest on top of my bathroom cabinet:
It's a souvenir my parents kept, I believe from their honeymoon in the Bahamas. As kids, my brothers and I used to hold it up to our ears and listen to the roar of the ocean. It's reassuring to hold it up to my ear now and hear exactly the same sound.
A decorative tulip in a slender vase made its way to the top of my desk:
It came from my Mom's family room bookcase, and while not particularly storied, it's a reminder of our Dutch heritage.
A curious sculptural item found a spot on top of some vintage paperbacks in my living room:
It's a chunk of clay pipe, worn away by Lake Ontario waves, left over from a factory near where we grew up. My Mom had this on display in her living room, likely as a memento of strolling along the shoreline in our old neighbourhood. It reminds me of how she'd find beauty in the humblest of things.
A bulbous wooden knob got acquainted with some blocks on my windowsill:
It's no ordinary knob – it's from one of the posts of the bunk bed I slept in as a child. It amuses me that my Mom would save one, probably as a reminder of what her sons were like as little boys. I swear, if I close my eyes and give it a twist, I'm back in the top bunk, in that cozy space between my mattress and the ceiling.
A box of Marimekko notecards relocated to my entryway table:
It's significant for what's inside, my Mom's listing of who she gave the cards to and when:
At the end of each line item is the colour of that particular card – I suppose, to ensure that she didn't give the same pattern to someone twice. Having this close at hand reminds me of how caring my Mom was with special occasions, putting so much attention to detail in expressing her love.
So what have I learned so far? Here's my guidance, if you're facing a similar situation:
Choose high-intensity items
Listen to your instincts. There are items that will resonate for you and others that won't. Be honest with yourself about what you find significant.
Let a fragment represent the whole
One object can stand for a larger set of memories. A single beautiful thing can call to mind the world it belonged to.
Showcase the best finds
Rather than taking on more than you can store, consider what you have room to display – and make the past a tangible part of your life.
From the archives
Back in November, I wrote about one of the first things from my parents' estate to land in a new destination. Follow its journey:
Guy Koolhof
Elsewhere
Last month, Better Homes & Gardens ran an insightful piece about how to grapple with what your parents have kept:
Learn about BHG’s Editorial Process
There are some excellent tips for both parents and children. Enjoy!
They can sign up here. It's published on Wednesdays.
Thank you for reading.
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