Regifting as way of life

The weekly micro-decorating newsletter * Issue 13 of 13, A25 * Subscribe free *

If exchanging gifts is part of your holiday tradition, it comes with built-in stress. In our ideal moment of giving, the recipient erupts into a state of childlike glee. The mere fact of a wrapped mystery is enough to please...

...and the tearing away of colourful paper always ends in delight.

The reality is often more prosaic:

It's only logical that many, if not most, pairings of gift and recipient are mismatches. Humans are hard to satisfy and even the most calculated purchase can be an unfortunate flop.

That's where regifting comes in, the surreptitious recycling of presents for new occasions, new recipients. It feels furtive but necessary, otherwise our homes would become curiosity cabinets of unloved bric-a-brac. This comes with stress too, the unnerving thought that the gift giver may ask about the gift's status and whereabouts on a future visit.

But what if the terms were reversed? What if hanging onto an item indefinitely were considered shameful, and passing it along to someone else the most admirable option?

Sometimes passing along happens forcefully. The middle umbrella in this arrangement has always been my favourite. On a shopping trip a few weeks ago...

...I realized it was no longer dangling from my arm. I retraced my steps, inquiring at three different venues, then realized it was hopeless. I pictured someone who had forgotten to bring an umbrella that day happily making use of this unexpected find.

About a week later, I visited Muji to replace it, but learned that they'd discontinued this model. So, I consoled myself with the fact of involuntary regifting, seeing it as a lesson in being less attached to things, more generous.

Gifts to my Mom are making their way back to me. As my brothers and I prepare her condo for selling in the spring, we're selecting cherished items to bring into our own homes. A week ago, I combed through the family room bookcase and found some titles I'd once chosen for her, including the collected poems of Emily Dickinson and a style encyclopedia called "Fifty Bags That Changed The World" – the latter with an inscription from Mother's Day, 2011. Now, they've been regifted to my own library, dear reminders of our lasting bond.

The world around us is lavish with its gifts. This newsletter is a way of regifting the joy I experience when savouring a well-designed room, a thoughtfully made object, a tenderly curated shop. I hope that for every misfire, there's an issue that speaks to you and lets the joy continue.

Would you regift this as well? Think of a design-loving friend who would enjoy guy with an eye, and forward this issue to them. They can subscribe right here. Let's grow this community of souls who are reclaiming their attention and finding life beyond the algorithm, now and into the New Year.

Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays!

Thank you for reading.